Chely Wright, Oprah Winfrey and the Closet
I still have mixed feelings about Chely Wright's recent announcement that she's a lesbian, and those feelings have absolutely nothing to do with her homosexuality. I truly don't care about that. I've never claimed to be the world's most idealistic person, but I'd really like to think that we've reached a point in civilization where diversity is embraced to the extent that such matters are a non-issue. Judging by the media attention Wright is receiving, though, that must not be the case, and I don't know whether to blame the media or her. Yes, the national media -- including CMT.com -- have reported the story. However, mainstream America's awareness of Wright was magnified Wednesday (May 19) with her appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show. Without the big announcement, it's extremely unlikely that Winfrey would be talking to Wright at all. Her country music guests tend to be A-list stars, hot newcomers and those who are perceived to have a compelling story to tell. Winfrey clearly placed Wright into the latter category, and that's her prerogative. However, perceptions are being skewed as mainstream media outlets are now referring to Wright as a "superstar," and that's simply not an accurate description. Granted, she reached No. 1 in 1999 with "Single White Female," but that's the only Top 10 hit of her entire career. Also, the timing of her revelation neatly coincides with the release of a new album (Lifted Off the Ground and memoir (Like Me: Confessions of a Heartland Country Singer). And where do you draw the line when it comes to friends you claim to care about? I realize that Wright's previous relationships -- back when she was still trying to project a heterosexual image -- are part of her story, but did she really have to pull Brad Paisley's name into her book and the Oprah interview? I suppose that's part of the price of fame, but how many of us want to have someone we once dated talking about that relationship? Especially on Oprah, for god's sake. (Fortunately, I guess, Wright seems to have nothing but good things to say about Paisley.) It's a fact that an Oprah appearance is one of the most effective forums for selling a CD or book, so it will be interesting to see next week's SoundScan results for sales Wright's new album. In the first two weeks of release, it's sold less than 6,000 copies.
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sean says:
Like it or not she is now an A list gay celebrity. Thats a whole new career. She may not be country superstar but she was a star. Watch as the gays lift her to new heights. Word on the street is she will be touring with the Indigo Girls in the fall and take part of Cyndi Lauper’s True Colors tour next year. I think she is going to be just fine, Maybe, even better then before.
To bad you just write a blog (your the D list to Perez Hilton’s A list) and have to write about what she is actually doing, and that is making a difference.
Ted says:
I completely disagree. Oprah is known for compelling life stories, ones of faith, failure, hope and change. Yes for entertainment value and a break from the seriousness, she has celebrities stopping by to promote a new movie or venture. If you watched the interview, you see how emotional er journey has been through all the tears(from oprah included). I dont think some people realize the meaning in Ms. Wright having the courage to speak up and have a voice for gay youth so that one day they will not feel the need to put a gun in their mouths as she did. This really isnt about country music, its a human rights issue being addressed and Chely Wright seems to be a “superstar” in promoting tolerence and change. Her memoir was touching and the songs that she wrote during her dark journey are for people who can relate. I do agree it all seems to be a package deal but she is an musician/artist, how can you bash her for telling of her journey through her music/work??? Isnt that what all artists do?
Amanda says:
I think it is important for Chely to tell her story, regardless of whether she is a country “superstar” or not. She is still someone who is in a position to make a difference in how others perceive homosexuals or help those who are struggling coming to terms with their homosexuality. What Chely is doing is about more than selling CDs and books, it’s about opening the minds of others and helping people who struggle like she did. Maybe she will gain sales with her appearance on Oprah (and I hope she does) however, she took a huge risk by coming out, it could very well end her country music career, although it shouldn’t. As far as the other artists being pulled into the discussion, they are just receiving positive publicity, that can’t hurt. By the way, Chely’s new CD is fantastic. It is by far better than anything she has put out before and different from anything in country music right now.
lifetime says:
she did this all for publicity! she has a new book a new cd…it’s not hard to figure out…she wants to sell her book and cd.
Dave says:
It’s amazing how cynical we are. How can someone assume that she did this purely for publicity? Yes, this will increase her book sales and even record sales. She also knew she would be ostracized by the country music community and that she would lose tons of friends and fans. I’m pretty sure she would rather keep her friends. I feel bad for her… not only for what she is losing now, but for what she had to go through, and for what people like her all over the world go through in hiding their sexuality.
Leslye Friedberg says:
Thanks, Dave. And, bravo to Chely Wright. What she said on “Oprah” is precisely what needs to be said, and she said it most graciously and, one hopes, in a manner that will allow some others NOT to endure a lifetime of
pain…in fact, not even a moment of pain.
Robin says:
Amanda - her career in the pop country industry has been dead for years. This wasn’t going to “kill” anything. Her CD is for the roots industry who doesn’t care about that anyway. So, this was no “risk” for her. It was only publicity. You don’t think her family and “friends” already knew this? Please!
Well, Brad didn’t know about it and she thought she could “use” him until he wanted a life with her and she had to drop that baggage. And, she dropped him in a mean way - as she herself described - he was appearantly “in love” with her and she just pushed him to the door with no honest explanation - “cold turkey” as she described it. Yeah, it worked out for him because he found a better woman, but she could have been kind and wasn’t (again as she self describes).
Springfield says:
Hey, I have and ideal why don’t we as a group leave the woman alone to live her life as she sees fit. Just because she famous doesn’t mean she doesn’t have feelings, and fears like the rest of us. Grow up and move on. Let the poor woman breath for more than 10 seconds before someone else comes at her with more questions and dumb remarks. She just came out let her get use to that before you start with the hate mail. I liked her music before and I like her music still. So what if she gay, she just being who god or whoever you belive in made her. She still the same person she was before your friend, sister, daugter, granddaugter, lover and singer. Just be glad she finally able to honest about herself.
Robin says:
Springfield - she’s the one that brought it up. I didn’t hear anyone asking her anything until SHE HAD A PRESS RELEASE! Please - I’m sick of the whinning.
Kathy says:
It looked like a washed up singer trying to ride the gay train back into the spotlight. Who really cares if she or anyone else is gay or not?
Laura says:
I agree, if she really gave a crap about Brad she wouldn’t have dragged him into her book and subsequent media blitz. I wonder if he or any of his publicists were given any kind of heads up in advance.
Marty says:
I think you are being a little hard on Chely by calling her “washed-up.” Her last CD had two Top 40 songs. That’s not bad considering it was self-released. There was no big record label out there releasing it and promoting it but she still had success. Also, her videos have always been in the top 20 countdowns on both CMT and GAC.
She has a massive military following. She is perhaps the most popular USO entertainer. Just look at all her appearances on Fox News and conservative radio shows. They considered her a patriot and have had her on many times over the last ten years. I imagine she won’t be on much anymore. You are completely overlooking that fanbase.
There’s no doubt she wasn’t going to have any big radio hits but she has had success since leaving MCA. There’s not many other country artists out there who were self-releasing material and still making the Top 40 and many tv appearances. Chely is one who has. That’s pretty impressive.
And, let’s be honest, radio isn’t as important as it was anymore. In the iTunes/internet era, anyone can sell a decent amount of records and gain a following. While radio may drive sales, it’s not the only way to gain fans anymore. Chely’s last CD proved that.
As far as Brad Paisley goes, yes, he was told he was in the book before hand and was alerted about it. You pretty much have to include that in the book since they were identified together for several years by their respective fans. It would’ve been bizarre to completely ignore that stage of her career.
I’m not a huge fan of all of her publicity surrounding this but hey, this is a business. Just look at CMT. What happened to the country music television? Enough said.
Steve says:
Chely is a hero. I believe in her and understand her.
Keep on Keepin on Girl.
S says:
Lifetime, maybe she just wants to be herself and not have to live a lie.
syd says:
What a shame in your blog you have managed to overlook every thing that meant something to Chely in her life. To say you don’t care if she is gay ~ I understand your sentiment. But perhaps you should, perhaps you should take a moment to reflect on the fact that this woman had a gun in her mouth. Too often people say they don’t care about someone’s orientation but leaving out that vital point says you care in a different way. You care enough to ride on the heels of this stories framework rather than focusing on what good will become of it. Of course Chely wants to stand up for her new book and CD. How would you feel if you lived in a world where gay was the norm and you were about to release a life diary through song and the written word. Don’t you think you may be afraid of losing this little career you have here in this blog. Would you not want to stand up for yourself so that your word is heard, knowing what it took to get you where you were. Or would you rather that gay dominated world presumed that you came out for publicity. Overlooking you and your word and mission. Her mission doesn’t at all seem to be publicity but in saving other lives.
I thank the Lord everyday that I did not live the closeted life Chely did, but can so see how it happens and I have seen it happen up close and personal. I thank the Lord just as well that I was able to come out, when I did and didn’t have the added fear of being in the spotlight as Chely is. Many people through her art/career will benefit from her CD and book to say the least.
For you to waste your time clarifying that Chely is not a “superstar” and is seeking publicity tells us everything we need to know about you and your superfluous “I don’t care.” Whereas you really care enough to add to Chely’s pain and deter from her triumph in not killing herself as opposed to celebrating it.
If you don’t realize how your’e not caring does make a difference, then I am sad for you. You say “I’d really like to think that we’ve reached a point in civilization where diversity is embraced to the extent that such matters are a non-issue.” Well obviously that is not always the case and you are perpetuating the harm by turning the focus away from her message. Can you not see there are so many more people out their like Chely, with a gun in their mouth and so many more that have already pulled the trigger. Funny thing you have now made her coming out an issue yourself by perpetuating the lame and stating she is doing it for publicity.
Shame on you and I pray that you never have a relative that takes their life for not being accepted.
Robin says:
Marty - Chely may have some sales here in there based on a fan base she created 10 years ago, but she is no force in the pop country industry. She was never going to be again with or without this (or the release of 50 CD’s).
And, by the way, Toby Keith is the most popular USO entertainer. My problem with Chely is definitely not that she’s gay. I could really care less about that. I think it’s wrong, but everyone is wrong about something and everyone has the right to be wrong when it comes to their own life. It’s her choice.
This is what I have a problem with:
1) She used Brad then and she’s using him now;
2) Not only is she using him, she’s putting his personal life in the spotlife when he has a family who’s privacy should be respected since “he” didn’t put it out in the public;
3) She’s simply using this as publicity. If she wasn’t then this wouldn’t have come out at a CD/Book release time;
4) She is not relevant in the pop country industry, but she could be very successful in the roots industry. She is pretending she has been a “superstar” in the pop country industry and she was NEVER that big. She was starting to see success and she can’t hold on;
5) People that support her keep crying that people need to leave her alone because it’s her private business even though it was HER who made this public specatacle of her personal life and I’m tired of the whinning.
I’m not hard on her. I’m responding to her choreographed, self-created manipulation of public opinion/support/marketing.
Justin says:
Okay, so which is it: Being gay should be an issue, or it shouldn’t be an issue? If we say we don’t care, then we get told we should. If it becomes the subject du jour, then we’ll get chastised for making it an issue. Make up your minds.
For the record, the person that comes out to the press, and the press for publicizing the crap out of it, are the ones making it an issue. Had she been doing her own thing and other people had taken notice of it, and the tabloids descended on her after getting wind of it, that would have been a slightly different story.
Along with the way she treated/is treating Paisley, I also haven’t been overly fond of what she’s had to say about John Rich. It’s no secret he has a reputation for being a jerk, but if she’s so appalled at what he said about homosexuals years ago, then why did she keep inviting him back to help with her charity? It seems she’s used John Rich as nothing more than a demon to make her appear more sympathetic.
Robin says:
Justin - to your point about John Rich. He was supposed to be her friend and he makes a stupid comment based on him hoping to “get with her” - because guys are dumb like that. And, she tries to make her friend look bad? The more she talks the more annoyed I get. I’m not even found of John Rich and as politically hard core as he is, he doesn’t seem to be one to care what people do with their personal life. Isn’t he and Gretchen buddies and she’s made alot of bad personal choices. He doesn’t judge her.
L says:
Calvin,
Until now, I’ve always considered you and Craig to be the most classy writers here at CMT. Apparently, I was very wrong about you, which is disappointing. Even Allison’s coverage was classier than this.
L says:
He doesn’t judge her, perhaps, because he’s made at least the same level of bad mistakes as her. In fact, they’ve probably made a lot of the mistakes together. He does judge people that he thinks are “unsavory”, which he has directly said about homosexuals regarding gay marriage.
KS says:
I did not read anyone’s comments above. I did read the Blog. I watched Oprah by total fluke with Chely. I am not a Oprah fan. I do know who Chely Wright is as a singer. And have loved her music. I was as “Calvin” confused by the interview and the premise of the show itself. I found it to be to Oprah ” for ratings” Oprah prob never knew Chely existed until she wrote a book. And for Chely’s ” coming out” I could care less if she was straight/bi/lesbian..a vegan etc..labels do not make/create a person. What struck though was ” HOW Chely made it come across ” To me.. maybe not everyone. That she made it sound as if she was dying of an inoperable disease one second and then the founder of the cure for it the next. Something was way off in that interview. Was as if she was asking for forgiveness, and yet was stating words confusing after. Was way over traumatic for her/Chely and not understood by the audience. I do not believe she was telling her full truth. Something much deeper is ongoing within Chely. I have many gay friends and I don’t believe I am off too much on my opinion. Without sexual preference known ~ Anyone can ” classify” their self - awkward in the world we live in all by their own mind. Chely was very awkward and it has nothing to do with her coming out. There is something much deeper within her ” Untold/ Unknown ?” that has nothing to do with her being a lesbian. Just my Thoughts. Very strange interview. And I do not believe Oprah was ” engaged” within it - not one minute.I think it was too close for comfort within Oprah’s life itself ..just saying. It was a First Come First Serve for the Media :( For Ratings. I think that Chely portrayed herself as a victim of something and not in the positive for her ” coming out”. Not a good interview. No one Jumped on the Couch..that’s for sure.
Marty says:
Robin-
I never said she was a force. In fact, I said her days of hits are long gone. My point was simply she’s still having some success. Much more than many of the singers of the Shania era. There are many singers of that era that I would consider “washed up.” They have virtually disappeared. Chely has not. I think that says something about her and her fanbase. She found a whole new fanbase from her USO outreach. It is a risk to lose that.
I have no problem with people talking about her. There’s no doubt she took advantage of other people and is using “coming out” as publicity. Sounds like virtually every entertainer that I know. As I said this is a business. If anyone has a problem with her promoting a book or new cd, I don’t know what to tell you. She’s doing the same stuff every other artist or writer does. If she has good PR people, then you take advantage of it. Obviously the PR is working, if you are reading and writing about her. If this a “stunt” then you fell for it. Mission accomplished for Chely and her team.
I don’t think Random House would’ve published her book if she completely glossed over her relationship with Brad Paisley. When two celebrities are involved in a relationship, people wanna know about it, for better or worse. I assume you don’t go on TMZ too often! People have wanted to know what happened for years about that. You can’t ignore it. Heck, their work together was nominated for awards. You think she’s going to ignore that?
Either way, I recommend people who have problems with the PR, how the relationship with Brad ended, etc should read the book. You don’t have to buy it. Go to your library, sit at Barnes & Noble and skim it. It explains a lot that 15 minute interviews on television can’t.
Robin says:
Marty - not sure how their mission was accomplished since I wouldn’t buy the book under any circumstances because she is using it to her advantage at the harm of another artist that had no choice in her decision to make his life public.
There are alot of artist from the “Shania era” as you call it that are doing quit well on a much smaller scale or in the roots industry. Some aren’t, but many more are than you imply.
Chely could have written a book about her life and been vague about the participants. Then she has wrriten a book about the issues and herself and not the media mongering of naming people. Of course people make assumptions, but that’s their assumption to make. But, Brad will be standing long after Chely has slipped back into oblivian so no harm will come to his career. But, he should not have to put up with his personal life being drug into the public.
Jimmy says:
Sad how a lot of you have been deceived into believing this well-scripted publicity campaign has anything to do with Chely Wright the (’gay’) person. Kudos to Chely for a brilliant marketing ploy.
Rena says:
Regrdless as to whether Chely Wright is Gay or not, the fact remains this is her life. Her speaking out was something that she felt she needed to do for herself. Her speaking out has nothing to do with you, me or what Nashville thinks. She is a person that was conceling her true self and should be appauled for doing so. No I am not Gay, Chely Wright is a great singer, I love her music I could careless what her sexual orintation is, she has to make herself happy not everyone else. As far as Brad Pasley is concerned, I feel that the only reason she brought his name into the interview with Oprah is the fact that they had a relationship that she could not fully commit to and had a very hard time trying to live with herself by trying to be something that she was not. I feel that she felt that Brad Pasly was a friend that she decieved and that the deception continued to bother her. Instead of talking down to her or putting her down accept her for who she is and let her continue to be the country music singer and songwriter that she is. You accepted her as a country singer in 1994 and you should continue to support her as part of the country music industry, to do so would be a travisty because on one side of your mouth you support gay rights but on the other side you black ball someone who comes forth and speaks up for themselfs and others. Alot of the Gay community love Country Music it would be a shame wouldn’t it….. Be the bigger person and accept people for who they are and not what you think they should be or should not…..CHELY WRIGHT I AM VERY PROUD OF YOU FOR COMING OUT. THERE IS NO SHAME AND DO NOT LET ANYONE TELL YOU ANY DIFFRENT. GOD BLESS….. GOD BLESSED YOU THIS WAY.. YOU ACCEPT THAT .. NOW IT IS TIME THAT OTHERS DO SO…..BE BLESSED…..
Disgusted says:
I just watched Chely Wright on the Today show interview, and was literally made nauseous. To say that this is a publicity stunt is an understatement. No one on God’s green earth cares about what she is doing behind closed doors, nor does the world need to know about it. She obviously missed the spot light, and felt empowered by all of the other gays that are coming out, and feels like she needs to do the same. To make the comment about country music being about God and Country is the truth and it needs to stay that way to drag her sexuality into it is wrong. She will be held accountable for this, and I hope the country music industry does so as well. Kudos to John Rich as usual for staying true to this country and its values. And shame on her for dragging Brad Paisley and his family into her twisted cry for attention. It is appalling that she would sink this low, and drag others into it just for a little more fame.
PS Jimmy: its sad that you think just like her.
Robin says:
Rena - who cares that she’s gay? This isn’t about “her” being gay. This is about HER abusing friendships and “OTHER PEOPLE” by writing a book about “THEIR” lives without their permission. If she had so much problem with her deception and lies to Brad, then she should have addressed them privately with him. But, she didn’t because she wanted to AGAIN USE him. If she’d have dealt with her lies to Brad privately and written her book about HER life and left names out of it (even if people made assumptions), then that would have been HER story.
I don’t feel badly for Chely in all of this. I feel badly for Brad, Kimberly and their two beautiful boys. Don’t you think that him ignoring her since she “informed” him about his life in the book was just because he’s busy?
This is NOT about her being gay. This is about her being a user and a mean spirited person that had to get one more punch in because she doesn’t have much of a career anymore and Paisley shines.
Todd says:
This Calvin guy supposedly “does not care” about Chely’s being gay and yet he judges her left and right throughout this article. He blames her for mentioning Brad’s name in her book? HELLO - it’s an autobiography, you talk about your private life in them. If she had just used an alias for Brad, then people would be accusing her of trying to create a buzz on guessing who she was alluding to.
Gilbert has a problem with Oprah interviewing Chely because she’s not a major star? That’s petty. Believe or not, not every person on the Oprah show is a Julia Roberts or Brad Pitt. And he’s complaining about the media calling her a “superstar” - man is this guy even in the entertainment industry?? They throw words like superstar, legend, et al. around to describe anybody who has had the slightest bit of success. CMT is as guilty as anyone about this!!
Chely just cannot win with you guys. If she had come out at a time she didn’t have a record out, you’d accuse her of doing it to try to get a record deal. Chely’s coming forward because she tried to keep her private life private and yet people in Nashville have been gossiping about her for years so now she’s saying “You really want to know? - ok here it is” and people are jumping on her for that now!! Chely is only doing her best to be truthful - and as everyone knows, quite a lot of people can’t handle the truth.
Mon says:
People seem to be forgetting some significant parts of this story. First of all, instead of thinking about how she (regretfully) wronged Brad Paisley, think about all she did FOR him. Maybe everything that happened there wasn’t ideal, but she was living in shadows and didn’t know how to deal with it in a segment of the industry that apparently isn’t all that gay-friendly on the inside. Someone mentioned something about leaving Brad out of it because he has a family. Well, maybe he wouldn’t HAVE that family if Chely hadn’t unceremoniously invited him to leave the lie she was living. Why can’t anyone be grateful for the fact that she didn’t try to make him live that lie with her? Wouldn’t that have been even more hurtful?
People are also forgetting the significance about the fact that she’s alive. Focus on what’s important folks. So what if she’s not your definition of a superstar. Like Todd suggested, anyone who puts out even a song can get labeled with the tag. Regardless, this could have been a story about her pulling the trigger. Would that have boosted her to superstar status? Would all the country music stations play her music over and over for a day in memoriam? It certainly would have been notable.
The most significant thing though (besides her living to tell) is that she’s living the truth. Secrets kill people. Secrets make people horribly ill. Hiding in plain sight must have been hell for her. But, she’s not hiding anymore. Her story is inspirational to people of all ages, whether they’re gay or heterosexual. Shake the monkey off your back, exhale and live your truth.
Tammy says:
I’ve heard the rumors about Chely’s private life for many years so it doesn’t really surprise me when she announced it in early May. It just surprises me that she hid it from the general country music fanbase for many years because she was supposedly so embarrassed about it but now she has done a complete 180 and practically wants to shout it from the rooftop, she’s gay, she’s gay! It just sounds a little phony to me how her public image is being presented by her now. I do believe she is really a lesbian but I think the stories of her thinking of committing suicide and being really depressed sound way overblown. I think she is greatly exaggerating things strictly to sell CD’s and her book.
Kay says:
To Mon: I agree with you. She was very depressed at one point and you can tell that in her music from “Lifted Off The Ground.” Some of the songs on there are very personal and you can just hear her crying out for help. I am just glad she came to her senses and did not pull the trigger. That could have been tragic. I’m glad she is at peace with herself and is finally living the life she was meant to live.
Noemi says:
What beautiful words from her Dad, “Don’t close the doors open your heart”
I hope more people can open their hearts.
Kimberly says:
I have been a fan of Chely for years…since Shut Up and Drive. I often wondered why she wasn’t more popular. She has an amazing traditional country voice. She is beautiful and talented. Pure and wholesome…everything country music seems to require of their female stars. Yet, she had very little radio play. I truly believe that it was an unspoken secret that everyone KNEW she was gay or possibly gay and that is what kept her out of the top 10 with very little radio play. But, as another post said…WATCH! Watch how someone with the courage to open up and be honest with who they are is raised to the level she deserves! Chely doesn’t need your approval. Chely is a superstar because of her courage and she is an amazing artist! Her new album is honest and pure and I guarantee she will be nominamted for a Grammy!!
Kimberly says:
I would also like to add that unless you have been in someone’s shoes, you should NOT judge. If you have never had to hide who you are to fit in, get a job, or fear losing the love of your family then you cannot understand the low levels that secrets like this can take you.
I understand. I am sure many gay and lesbians can understand. I am so proud of her for saying that she will not allow “Lesbian” to be an insult to her anymore! She truly took her power back from the backward ‘folks’ that call themselves the ‘country music industry’! She was honest and sincere on Oprah and anyone who watched it could see and feel the emotion.
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