Stand by Your Man? Not This Time
I don't think this is what Tammy Wynette had in mind. Back in 1968, when she wrote "Stand by Your Man," it was just about men doing things that you don't understand, and even though he's hard to understand, if you love him, be proud of him, ‘cause after all he's just a man. Simple, relatable good ol' country lyrics. But I highly doubt she meant you should forgive him if he physically assaults you and leaves you by the side of the road.
That's what allegedly happened to R&B artist Rihanna. And now, just three weeks after her boyfriend Chris Brown (another R&B artist) knocked her around, they've reportedly reconciled. And the world is left wondering why. Why would she go back to him? How could she ever forgive him? And, even worse, will he do it again? Relationship experts say abusers are pros at getting their victims back with lots of promises that they'll never do it again. Brown even made a statement to the press after his arrest, saying, "Words cannot begin to express how sorry and saddened I am over what transpired," and he promised he was "seeking the counseling of my pastor, my mother and other loved ones." And we're supposed to believe he did all that in three weeks and he's now a safe and loving boyfriend? Not so fast. I think a good time for Rihanna to take Brown back would be, um, never. (I thought the same thing when Hillary forgave Bill, but that's another blog altogether.)
When Wynette wrote that song in the ‘60s, domestic violence was probably somewhere in the back of her mind. But her story was, I think, more about forgiving smaller things. Like coming home too late, leaving dishes in the sink, blowing money on a sports car. Not this. Not assault and battery. So while I'm the first one to take country songs literally, this is one of those times when I think Rihanna should absolutely not stand by her man. And I think the only two things Brown should be clinging to are the bars of his jail cell. What do you think?
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RedMaZ says:
“Stand By Your Man” was written by Billy Sherrill and Tammy Wynette.
Twangtown7 says:
WTF does Rihanna and Chris Brown have to do with country music?
Ridiculous…
DuhTwangtown says:
Twang - it’s relating a country song to a widely publicized scandal. This discussion could go many ways… for example, “where do you think the line is when it comes to standing by your man?” or “would a country girl ever put up with this abuse?”
Twangtown7 says:
Nice spin….try harder next time.
linda says:
this thing with rhinna and chris ,is just an another example of stuff that has nothing to do with country music and that shouldn’t be included, just like about 90% of the music being blasted in our ears , most of the music on radio today is just what should be labeled -nothing more than a very loud bad noise ,equal to the sounds of finger nails on a chalk board
RedMaZ says:
Hey…there’s old grumble nuts. How you doing today you old fart? Just what do YOU have to do with Country Music? I see you haven’t contributed to the Music blogs to any extent again..
Dan M. says:
I absolutely think this is relevant. “Stand By Your Man” is an extremely important song in country music history, and what’s great about the best country music is its ability to speak to truths about the human condition. The fact that this event took place outside of the country music “community” but can still be connected thematically to a classic country record actually speaks to how universal and artistically sophisticated that record is in the first place.
And the event has been in the general pubic eye quite a bit recently, so I don’t think it’s absurd to include here if Alison is able to substantially connect it to country music, which I think she did.
RedMaZ says:
That may be too much for Tt7 to absorb D.M. He’s still mad because his soup got cold. Besides that, it’s still no excuse for snubbing Billy Sherrill.
Twangtown7 says:
RedMaz, what do I have to do with country music? Well, more than Rhianna and Chris Brown…I can tell you that.
I’ve played (guitar, not singing) just about every bar on Broadway plus the Tin Roof…met and played with many country artists…so I’m probably a little more qualified to talk about country music than, say, you.
Signed, Grumble Nuts (I actually liked that…)
RedMaZ says:
Then why don’t you try it? I have yet to see you carry on any intelligent conversation about music.
Just how do you know my musical background to consider yourself more qualified than me? I’ve asked you several questions about music, yet you don’t reply. Your lack of musical discussion leads me to believe otherwise.
Twangtown7 says:
Sorry Red, I have more important things to do than be on here all day and night like you.
And the only question I ever recall you asking me about was the guitar Randy Travis was playing. If you asked any other, I either don’t remember, or I missed it.
Anyways, shoot. What did you wanna know?
lucy lewis says:
Country music, rap, R&B…whatever…it doesnt matter. Domestic violence is exactly what it is..VIOLENCE. Not who wrote a song…or where it belongs..Standing by a man who hits on you is radiculous. That will always be in the back of her mind, “will he do it again”. Statistics say YES.
RedMaZ says:
Well, if you have more important things to do, then why bother coming here to complain at all? (that’s question #1). Also, where are your comments on all the music blogs here? Show me where you’ve been involved in a country music discussion. I asked you to list me 20 new Roots Country artists you’ve checked out this week, so i can go check them out too. I also asked how many blog sites on the left column of this page you have visted? I see at least 5 that never mention Swift, Rhianna, or Brown. What is your take on this years AMA Honors and Awards? They were in Nashville. Did you attend?
Twangtown7 says:
First let me start by saying I’m flatered you feel the need to keep up on my contributions here. But it is kinda scary. I may have to start thinking about en e-restraining order on ya Big Red.
Second, when I come on here, I don’t have a lot of time to read every single article/blog. But when I see some that seem silly to me, I like to voice my opinion.
You wanna know how many blogs I’ve visited? Why? Thats kinda weird. Can you keep track of how many you’ve visited? Don’t be so silly.
The AMAs. You’re talking about the Americana Music Awards, right? Honestly, I don’t have much interest there.
I don’t live in Nashville anymore. I live in Wisconsin now, but frequent Nashville quite abit throughout the year. I’m actually pretty excited for CMA Fest (Fan Fair) this year since I may be playing with Neal McCoy on the riverfront stage. He recently got rid of his whole band, and his agent contacted me about it. So we’ll see.
Have a good one…
Grumble Nuts
merlefan46 says:
Rihanna should not stand by her man. It’s sad she isn’t going to press charges. Thankfully the courts can act without her. He has give her the “I’m sorry and the gifts” till it happens again
I remember a country music singer who was also charged with domestic violence back in the late 90’s. It really didn’t shock me when his fans all came to his defense and blamed his wife for the trouble.
RedMaZ says:
Too much information Clyde. Get over yourself…
Greatdivide08 says:
I heard those two got married over the weekend.Get beat like a pulp then marry the dude the next week.Kinda hard to feel sorry for her now.
Twangtown7 says:
Anyways Red, enjoy your double-wide trailer.
Sorry not everyone lives a miserable life.
RedMaZ says:
Well don’t be sorry. I’m sure you can’t help living a miserable life. It seems to be your nature. Thanks for the upgrade to the double wide, That’s very augmenting of you.